Insomnia has its benefits

One might say that insomnia has its benefits. The condition grants the sufferer time to carry out menial tasks ill-suited to the more serious arena of daylight waking hours. Personally, I make the most of my time by demistifying half-completed sudoku puzzles (tackling the 7's that tend to frustrate me,) by liberating the refrigerator of that hidden container of hummus (creamy style is best at 4 AM,) by catching up on late-nite TV (the miraculous Ninja Master Prep, which carries a money-back guarantee, may be purchased in 3 convenient payments of $19.95,) and by thinking. During the small and dark hours of Monday morning, after having finally dominated a recent sudoku and topped a cracker or two with Middle Eastern dip, I turned to the TV and tuned to the Tim McCarver Show. Only a five-syllable word could describe the thirty-minute transmission that had me transfixed: serendipity. Along with team Cape Cod Beer members Shaun Kerr and Steve Swain, I had already determined that the handlebar moustache would offer a profound look for the Last Gasp charity ride and would also serve as a perfect marketing tool. During training rides, I had entertained notions of joining many famous men who sported the stately 'stache, and the elite group's forerunner now appeared elegantly dressed and finely groomed opposite Tim McCarver: Roland Glen "Rollie" Fingers.  

Although his risponses to Tim's questions seemed somewhat rehearsed, the Hall-of-Fame pitcher--a debonnaire revolutionary in the realm of relief pitching in the modern day--spoke of what had been a truly remarkable career. Among the salient tales, he provided insight into his decision to grow the storied 'stache, as prompted by A's owner Charlie Finley, notorious for micromanagement of the ballclub, frugality in spending, and animosity among players and coaches. Rollie's handlebars became the hallmark of the team, of baseball excellence, and of 70's facial fashion. Having turned the TV off, I began to sink slowly into a state of somnolence and to think at last of all things for which I should be thankful and of what could only be a bright day to come.